I Will Recall
I'm not really sure what sparks it. Most days I'll be okay, and then on some days I can't hold it in. It was probably from the other day. A co-worker had told me about one of her friends who miscarried twins at 20 weeks. Just the word "miscarriage" took me back. I'm not going to lie. That word stabs me every time. It's like when you lose someone to cancer or a car accident. When you hear those specific words, it brings back feelings. Feelings you've managed to control until that moment. I'm usually full of faith and proclaiming positive words over myself to help keep me going. Tonight is not the case. I recall how it felt, I recall the heart break. I recall the time of day and year. I recall the emptiness and void feeling I felt that day, and for awhile after. I recall every smell, every feeling, and every minute. I will always remember the child that I carried, even if it was for just a few months. Today, all I have is prayers, memories, wishes,...