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Unwanted Assignment

I don’t know you, I don’t know your story, and I don’t know your journey. But please…..raise your hand if you are going through trials and assignments you don’t particularly want to be in. ( R aises hand).  Well, I hope that you find some encouragement in this post for those unwanted assignments you would have never picked out for yourself lol. That’s me. I am a foster mom. This was not my choice. If I had it my way, I would have been like Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane, praying and pleading for God to let this cup pass over me.  Can I get an Amen? Nonetheless, I’ve still prayed many times for the will of God to be done through me. Which brought me to where I am today…..a foster mom. Dealing with a child who has ADHD, PTSD, meltdowns, bad anxiety, and mental and emotional scarring is not a job I would have volunteered for.  Especially as a parent newbie. My original plan, was to birth my own children. Notice how I said MY . It’s always been a desire of mine, to have my own child
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Fly Eagle, Fly

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I've had my share of shove down, kick down, and beat-the-crap-out-of-you moments in my life. If you're alive, you've experienced the same things. But it just seems as though I've had A LOT of those this year. I started a healthy journey this year. I'm not going to say weight loss journey, because honestly....God isn't concerned about that. He wants me healthy, and weight loss will be a result of it. But during the few months I've been doing this, I've been knocked down so many times. And every time I go back to this wall to climb it, it seems bigger than before. I injured my back while working out a couple of months ago, and it seems like I have to start over. I haven't really gained any weight back, thank goodness! But it's pushed me back. I told myself over the weekend it was impossible. I told my husband, "there's no way I'm getting over that thing, because every time it gets bigger, and I haven't even made it halfway up yet &
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Sustained, Not Suppresed

I was sitting at work yesterday...on my phone...pondering. Mainly about family. I've struggled a lot in the past three years with family. I mean, no family is perfect by any means. However, when I was pondering about family....all I really kept thinking about was how much the enemy has used this to consume my thoughts and heart. I really have been so consumed with the whole thing. Wondering what I'd done wrong and how I can fix it. Wondering what to do about it. Wondering what went wrong. Wondering if I should move to China lol. Just kidding! If I moved anywhere it would be to Montana! Have you seen the scenery over there??? Gorgeous! With this struggle, I had been letting the enemy fill up my head and heart with some of the most ridiculous things lol. And because I was so consumed with all of these thoughts, it was really hard to put my thoughts up there with Christ's thoughts. It was hard to be thankful for all of the other good things that God had done. Those thoughts
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Nothing Is Wasted

Well it's been quite awhile, I must say. Too long. Welcome back! I should probably be saying that to myself lol.  It's been awhile since I've been this compelled to write something. I mean AWHILE.  I was driving home from work. Just, you know...reflecting on everything. The last few months have been a struggle. I don't really talk about them that much because I have the mentality that it doesn't have to be about me everywhere I go. So many others are struggling, and some are struggling much worse than I am. There have been a lot of mental attacks. And it's been a pretty broad battlefield. Meaning, it's not been confined to one particular area.  But as I was driving, I kept thinking about the attacks we've had to deal with as a married couple the past few months. Especially my husband. The man has been working so very hard the past few months, with very little free time. Sunday is his only day off. It's been a struggle getting to spend time together. 
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Discipline For A Greater Good

Hey y'all! It's been awhile! Because it's been awhile, I'm warning you. THIS IS A LONG POST. But super excited to be back!  I know you all had to have noticed the big D word in the title. DISCIPLINE.  Almost instantly the first word in the title of this post makes some people cringe, like it did to me when I first heard it. DISCIPLINE??? But I thought I was doing okay. I mean I've not been a troublemaker or anything. We automatically associate discipline with punishment. Probably because that's the way the world perceives it. But we all know the "world's ways" are always completely different than God's ways. God associates discipline with love. BECAUSE He loves us...He disciplines. He wants us to be like Him. Perfected for the day of Christ's return. His spotless bride. However, we all still cringe when we hear the word because of how uncomfortable it is. And it hurts.  I've been at my job for the past 2 years. At first, it was so great
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It Is Well

I know, I know...I haven't posted in awhile. Shocker, right?? But I mean, I've had a lot going on. I've learned a lot these past few months. I've learned that I am still a control freak. God help my future children and any potential spouse they meet. Yeah...I'm gonna be THAT kind of mother-in-law. In the process of all the "stuff" I've had going on, I've learned that God is very capable of doing His part...as long as I am doing my part. As in, just doing my part. Not both of ours together. I am not God. And everyone said...amen.  My life in the past year has been rather interesting, yet heartbreaking, yet joyful. It's been like a roller coaster, to say the least. I hate roller coasters lol. There have been good moments, bad moments, and all those in-between moments that you just don't know what to do with. I've prayed, and cried, and yelled, and cried some more. You get the picture. It ain't been pretty. But somewhere in the midst o
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Give Thanks!

There have been days I've felt angry, frustrated, confused, disappointed, sick, and sad. All of these emotions have taken over me at least once in the past two months. And I admit, sometimes, they've just been too much to do anything. Work, go to church, live. Yep. I wish I could say that I've been super strong and full of faith during these weak moments and really dug my heels in, but I haven't. It's just been so hard. I didn't feel like being strong. I didn't feel like being positive. I was tired. I was wore out.  I didn't feel like being at church on Mother's Day for the simple fact that I, once again, don't yet have children. Every other year, I could do it. But sometimes you get so tired of being strong, being brave, being "happy" and positive. I just wasn't able to do it. I didn't want to be told Happy Mothers Day out of pity. I didn't want a card from my husband saying Happy Mothers Day. I really just wanted to be b
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