Freely Captivated

I've had my share of shove down, kick down, and beat-the-crap-out-of-you moments in my life. If you're alive, you've experienced the same things. But it just seems as though I've had A LOT of those this year. I started a healthy journey this year. I'm not going to say weight loss journey, because honestly....God isn't concerned about that. He wants me healthy, and weight loss will be a result of it. But during the few months I've been doing this, I've been knocked down so many times. And every time I go back to this wall to climb it, it seems bigger than before. I injured my back while working out a couple of months ago, and it seems like I have to start over. I haven't really gained any weight back, thank goodness! But it's pushed me back. I told myself over the weekend it was impossible. I told my husband, "there's no way I'm getting over that thing, because every time it gets bigger, and I haven't even made it halfway up yet ...

I was sitting at work yesterday...on my phone...pondering. Mainly about family. I've struggled a lot in the past three years with family. I mean, no family is perfect by any means. However, when I was pondering about family....all I really kept thinking about was how much the enemy has used this to consume my thoughts and heart. I really have been so consumed with the whole thing. Wondering what I'd done wrong and how I can fix it. Wondering what to do about it. Wondering what went wrong. Wondering if I should move to China lol. Just kidding! If I moved anywhere it would be to Montana! Have you seen the scenery over there??? Gorgeous! With this struggle, I had been letting the enemy fill up my head and heart with some of the most ridiculous things lol. And because I was so consumed with all of these thoughts, it was really hard to put my thoughts up there with Christ's thoughts. It was hard to be thankful for all of the other good things that God had done. Those thoughts ...

Well it's been quite awhile, I must say. Too long. Welcome back! I should probably be saying that to myself lol.  It's been awhile since I've been this compelled to write something. I mean AWHILE.  I was driving home from work. Just, you know...reflecting on everything. The last few months have been a struggle. I don't really talk about them that much because I have the mentality that it doesn't have to be about me everywhere I go. So many others are struggling, and some are struggling much worse than I am. There have been a lot of mental attacks. And it's been a pretty broad battlefield. Meaning, it's not been confined to one particular area.  But as I was driving, I kept thinking about the attacks we've had to deal with as a married couple the past few months. Especially my husband. The man has been working so very hard the past few months, with very little free time. Sunday is his only day off. It's been a struggle getting to spend time together. ...