The Weight (Wait) Is Over
It's official. My body hates me. And why should I blame it. I haven't exactly been good to it or anything. When you don't take care of something, it just kind of...well...refuses to cooperate for the most part. That's a nice way of putting it. I've never really taken great care of my body. You kind of have to like it first. I've never liked my body. There, I said it. Yes I know it's not the greatest attitude to have. But it's the truth.
It's taken me a long time to get here. Liking myself, showing the real me, speaking out, thinking that I'm worth something. This girl four years ago would have never started her own blog, got up on any type of stage to sing, and applied for a job that was way out of her element. But I stand before you today a changed woman. It's taken a few years lol. But there was a lot of damage that God had to sort through, and boy did he ever! I never realized before I was married that He was capable of something so personal. He is a very personal God. One day, I will get the chance to share my full testimony. You have no idea how good it is! My biggest victory has been over liking myself. And here lately, I've gotten a better glimpse of that.
I've realized that unless you take care of your body, yourself, it won't take care of you. And I've not been too good to mine over the years. You can tell by looking at me. As a big girl, it's important to remember who you want to change for. The world says to lose weight because they are disgusted at the sight of an OBESE person. Yes, that's what a person of my size is called nowadays. Such an ugly word. I like to say pleasantly plump lol. I refused to change how I look for the world's sake. I refused to change because I didn't want it to be because of the way I looked. I didn't want to change to please the human eye. I didn't want to do it in vain.
I sit here today, wanting a complete change for a completely different reason. God has shown me that in order for my body to work properly, in the way it was originally designed....you have to take care of it. This could be the one thing getting in the way of me having a family. I'm not saying that's a for sure answer. But what I do know is that sometimes, when we don't do our part, God's power cannot be fully manifested. He's not going to heal us from diabetes if we're not even making any improvements ourselves. God doesn't need our help, but He does need us to be ready and open to receive His power and change He wants to do in our lives. I know God wants to give me a family. But instead of just sitting back, waiting for it to fall in my lap, I realize I am going to have to do my part. I'm going to have to prepare my body to receive the miracle God wants to give me. I know I am ready this time. I always worry about the financial aspect of it. It costs a lot more to eat healthy and take care of yourself. But it's worth it. I am worth it. My future children are worth it. My husband is worth it. And most importantly GOD IS WORTH IT. I want everything in my life to glorify my Father. I realize this is a lifetime change and not just a temporary change.
But I can't wait to see how God will work in it. I'm ready. I've got my medicine, the word of God, my faith, and my determination at hand to handle this task before me. I even have my cute little snowman family ornament I bought at Dollywood hanging up on my wall to remind me why I'm doing this in the first place. Here goes nothing. Prayers are greatly appreciated!
It's taken me a long time to get here. Liking myself, showing the real me, speaking out, thinking that I'm worth something. This girl four years ago would have never started her own blog, got up on any type of stage to sing, and applied for a job that was way out of her element. But I stand before you today a changed woman. It's taken a few years lol. But there was a lot of damage that God had to sort through, and boy did he ever! I never realized before I was married that He was capable of something so personal. He is a very personal God. One day, I will get the chance to share my full testimony. You have no idea how good it is! My biggest victory has been over liking myself. And here lately, I've gotten a better glimpse of that.
I've realized that unless you take care of your body, yourself, it won't take care of you. And I've not been too good to mine over the years. You can tell by looking at me. As a big girl, it's important to remember who you want to change for. The world says to lose weight because they are disgusted at the sight of an OBESE person. Yes, that's what a person of my size is called nowadays. Such an ugly word. I like to say pleasantly plump lol. I refused to change how I look for the world's sake. I refused to change because I didn't want it to be because of the way I looked. I didn't want to change to please the human eye. I didn't want to do it in vain.
I sit here today, wanting a complete change for a completely different reason. God has shown me that in order for my body to work properly, in the way it was originally designed....you have to take care of it. This could be the one thing getting in the way of me having a family. I'm not saying that's a for sure answer. But what I do know is that sometimes, when we don't do our part, God's power cannot be fully manifested. He's not going to heal us from diabetes if we're not even making any improvements ourselves. God doesn't need our help, but He does need us to be ready and open to receive His power and change He wants to do in our lives. I know God wants to give me a family. But instead of just sitting back, waiting for it to fall in my lap, I realize I am going to have to do my part. I'm going to have to prepare my body to receive the miracle God wants to give me. I know I am ready this time. I always worry about the financial aspect of it. It costs a lot more to eat healthy and take care of yourself. But it's worth it. I am worth it. My future children are worth it. My husband is worth it. And most importantly GOD IS WORTH IT. I want everything in my life to glorify my Father. I realize this is a lifetime change and not just a temporary change.
But I can't wait to see how God will work in it. I'm ready. I've got my medicine, the word of God, my faith, and my determination at hand to handle this task before me. I even have my cute little snowman family ornament I bought at Dollywood hanging up on my wall to remind me why I'm doing this in the first place. Here goes nothing. Prayers are greatly appreciated!
Princess you are so amazing. I'm proud to know you.
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