Choose Love

Ten years ago, I met my husband. After we had been dating for a very short time, we decided to get married. So you know, we went through the premarital process of getting a marriage license, counseling, blah blah blah. That year I got my first lesson on love from my pastor. During one of our premarital counseling sessions, he spoke to us about love and to this day I remember what he said to us.

The one thing that he said that stuck in my mind and heart was "Love is a choice. It's not something you fall into and out of". That statement has helped me through so many arguments and fights with my husband during the first few years of our marriage. I didn't quite understand its concept until I had opportunities to live it out. My pastor was right.

Media and family, and friends....they twist the idea of love. We've been taught all of our lives that love is a feeling. It's not. We may feel attraction and passion to a particular person. But love does not fall into the same category. To give you a more accurate view of love, let's see what God says about it.

1 Corinthians 13 says...

"If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. ² If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. ³ And if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body ^[a]to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing."

^"4 Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, ⁵ does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, ⁶ does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; ^7 [b]bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

Love isn't easy. It isn't all daisies and roses. Love is hard. Love definitely takes patience, kindness, and all of the other things mentioned above. 

When you marry someone, you choose to love them the rest of your life. And sometimes, believe me, you REALLY have to choose love over those other feelings that are anything but positive. Loving someone who seems unworthy is difficult. But everyone deserves love. I often times think about where I would be if it weren't for the love of God.  He found me at my lowest place, scooped me up in His hands, and LOVED me. That's how people change. That's how I changed. They don't change by our judgemental looks or criticisms. They don't change by us leaving. They don't change by us getting revenge or holding a grudge. They change because of love. There are some people that will never change. But we love because we have been commanded to do so. We choose love because it's the right thing to do. When I was at my lowest point in life, doing all the wrong things, and with zero self-esteem....I was being loved. God's love changed me. All anyone is looking for is that one person that will love them in the middle of all their mistakes. Will that be you? We may not always agree with someones lifestyle or choices, but loving them should never be off the table. 

When my husband and I were going through some really bad financial hardships, did I feel like loving him? No, I didn't. It's hard loving someone whose bad choices affect your life. I then remembered that saying by my pastor. Love is a choice. I vowed to love my husband through richer or poor, and until death do us part. I really had no choice. Any other relationship I have had, fell apart. I got used to people leaving me. I needed this marriage to work. Plus, I could not stop thinking about how much God has loved me even in my worst, most shameful, decisions. He never left me. He stayed right by my side. So I stayed right by my husband's side. It totally paid off. It took a lot of praying and persistence and determination. But it was well worth it. In November, we  will be married 10 years. It doesn't seem like long to some people, but to me...it's everything. It's the longest relationship I've ever had. We have been through the ups and downs, and over the hills, in the valley and through the fire. But because we stood our ground and protected what God had blessed us with, we are closer than we've ever been. Are the hard times over? Not even close. Do we still butt heads from time to time? Of course. A loving relationship is not perfect. It just means that you will have a partner for the rest of your life that will walk with you through hard times, and never leave you at your worst moments. I don't know where I'd be today if it weren't for the love of God, and the love of my husband. The two combined together has totally rocked my world and allowed me to grow to be a woman of God that I was meant to be. 

If you don't get anything else accomplished today....choose to love someone who seems undeserving. You may just be saving their life.