There's no "I" (independence) in TEAM

Someone once said they didn't need anyone else, that she was miss independent who could do everything on  her own. Yeah, that foolish person, was me. I am a very independent person. I always try to do everything on my own. Sometimes I can be a handful, and terribly stubborn. Oh and let's not forget prideful. But now we're getting off subject. We were talking about being independent. That's me. I try really hard not to be. A lot of my independence is rooted from having to do so much on my own.

I got my first job at 16, when I was living with my grandma because she wouldn't buy me what I needed. From that point on, I bought most of what I needed. I moved out when I turned 18, and lived on my own, taking care of myself until I got married to Ken.

When you're used to not having anyone around that can or is willing to help you, it makes you a lot more independent. My father was never around, so I was taught by the women in my family, to be a strong woman who took care of yourself, without the help of any man. That's how I survived. Independence. It's all that I knew back then. I knew of God, and believed in Him...but never really knew Him as my provider until I got married.

Everything was all daisies when I got married, except for our financial standing. Goodness, between Ken and I, we had so much debt. It was crazy. I'm telling you, your marriage vows become real, when you are having to test out the "through richer or poor" part. Trust me. We had nothing other than the roof over our head, and the car we were driving. But we had each other, and most importantly...we had God.

Because of all the debt, I had no choice. It was either drown in my own independence, or lean on God and walk with my husband through it all. Independence hadn't gotten me anywhere before, except lonely. And I already knew what that felt like. I didn't want to go back there. I was determined. I had a great God, and a wonderful husband. The two best things that has ever happened to me. No way was I letting that go. So I dug my heels in, turned my face upon heaven, and held my husband's hand so tight. There was nothing getting in between that. We decided that we were in it together, until the end. God put us together, so we were going to conquer as two.

We butted heads a lot, had many disagreements, and fights, and meltdowns...but we made it through. Because we stuck it out together, and worked very hard, and kept our eyes on God...we cut our debts in half. It took ten years, but we made it!!!

I feel weird saying this, because some of you may have been married way longer than me, but oh well. When you are married, it's important that you walk through trials TOGETHER. The enemy hates the unity between a husband and his wife. He will try everything to bring separation. You must walk in sync with each other, both faces turned up to God in the journey to help you keep your way. When our faces are pointing up to God, we lose sight of the distractions the enemy throws in our path as we walk through the trials. I believe every marriage has certain trials. It's there to strengthen and unite you. When your gaze is steadfast on God...He will show you the way. And as you walk through the tough times together, every hardship will draw you even closer than the last one. No one gets excited about hardships, but get excited about it anyway. That's when you know God is going to use it for something amazing in your life. He is a redeemer.

So after ten years, I have learned to depend on God for everything, and stay at my husband's side, no matter what comes our way. I have learned to choose love over hopelessness. I wanted to give up so many times. But then God told me to love my husband through it, even when I didn't feel like it. Because trust me, there will be times when you won't feel like loving someone. But when we choose to keep doing it anyway...it becomes a force to be reckoned with in the enemy's eye. God used our hardships to bring us closer to him, and closer to each other. In the process, I have learned so much about love. We still don't have a perfect relationship. But God united us as one. That is the result of our storm. When your marriage or whatever else you got going on, is rooted in God...the roots sustain during the toughest storm. It may seem like it's lasting forever, but hold on a little longer. It will be over soon enough. And when you come up out of the darkness...you will see your rainbow. You may not have a husband to team up with. That's ok. I've heard God is an awesome teammate. Team up with Him for your life's struggles, and together...there's nothing you can't do :)

Love
Amanda B